


Unashamed

by Crossroads_Castiel



Series: No One Needs to Know [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Porn, Bunker Sex, Canon Related, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Season/Series 12 Spoilers, Smut, Sneaking Around, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 03:11:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9579830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crossroads_Castiel/pseuds/Crossroads_Castiel
Summary: Set after 12x10----------------Dean stared at Castiel from across the Map table, his hands stuffed in his pockets. “Cass…I’m…I’m sorry I’ve been so…” He looked to the floor as if searching for the right word.Castiel smirked and crossed his arms over his chest, his trench coat stretching across his shoulders. “Might I suggest impossible, surly, disagreeable, or thoughtless?”Dean sighed and rolled his eyes. “And you’ve been so much better behaved?”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Set post 12x10. I use Cass vs. Cas, heads up now if you do not read fics who spell it that way ;)

The three of them sat up drinking till early morning. Sam and Dean could both tell that dredging up the sins of his past had taken its toll on Castiel and they wanted to cheer him up. When Dean had admitted why he had been so short with Cass, worry not anger, some of the tension had left the room. Eventually Sam stretched, popped both men on the shoulder, and yawned as he headed to bed. Dean and Castiel made an attempt to pick up the beer bottles and clean off the table as they heard Sam pad to the bathroom and brush his teeth. They buzzed around one another, not speaking, until they heard Sam’s bedroom click closed with finality. At that sound they both froze and stared at one another. It had been over six weeks since they had found themselves alone together and neither man was sure where they stood. 

Dean stared at Castiel from across the Map table, his hands stuffed in his pockets. “Cass…I’m…I’m sorry I’ve been so…” He looked to the floor as if searching for the right word.

Castiel smirked and crossed his arms over his chest, his trench coat stretching across his shoulders. “Might I suggest impossible, surly, disagreeable, or thoughtless?”

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes. “And you’ve been so much better behaved?”

Castiel’s eyes tightened into a squint. “I wasn’t the one who tried to sacrifice themselves….The only warning you gave me was grabbing my hand in the car. It would take you going off to die to sit in the backseat with me without sex being involved, and mortal danger to hold my hand with your family in the vehicle…”

Dean came around the table, pulling his hands from his pockets as he clenched them into fists at his side. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Castiel put his hands at his side, mirroring Dean with his clenched fists. They stood inches apart, eyes angry. “You know what it means, Dean. You act like a protective….lover….when I’m around someone else insulting me but you find it perfectly acceptable to talk condescendingly to me in front of Sam. You believe I acted rashly, stupidly…Was I supposed to let you or Sam die? Let’s be honest. We both know it was going to be you. Wasn’t it?” Dean’s features softened and his mouth screwed up in a tight line. Castiel studied his face and nodded to himself. “You’d find it so easy to leave me…”

Dean grabbed him impulsively and let his palms cup Cass’ face, this thumb gently running over the split in his lip. “I called you, only you, the moment I escaped prison. I didn’t ask you to bring anyone else…I only wanted to see you…Does that sound like it was easy to leave you?” He leaned their foreheads together, Cass' hands still clenched at his sides. “Cass, I didn’t see what other choice I had…but I knew with Billie’s deal I could at least see you one more time if I was lucky…locked in there, I knew there was no chance of that, and I knew you could protect Sam.”

“Dean…” Castiel whispered out, his hands unclenching slowly. “I believe I’ve made it clear I don’t want to live if you die…”

“But for Sam you would…” Dean said softly as they slowly leaned into one another. 

“It’s cruel to ask it, but you know I would, though I would be poor company…”

“You’re never poor company, sweetheart...” Dean said as his lip gently teased at Castiel’s lower lip. 

“You’ve contradicted your earlier argument, Dean,” Cass said as his hands slid up his clothed back. “Dean…it’s been a long time since we….We don’t have to, you know...” Castiel’s eyes flickered across his face nervously. 

“Have to? I thought we were fighting so we could have angry make up sex, or was that just me being optimistic?” The grin that spread across Dean’s face made Castiel roll his eyes in exasperation. 

“You’re impossible,” Cass breathed out, fighting a ficker of a smile at the corner of his lips.

Dean shrugged as his thumb stroked gently under Cass’ bruised eye. “I know…I’m sorry. I’ve missed you…so much. I just suck at showing it.”

“I…suck at showing it too. I was upset that you were so angry and I thought perhaps you were unhappy about what I said on the bridge, not just what I did…” Castiel’s hands had migrated to tease at the skin he could reach under Dean’s shirt, his thumbs skimming along the skin at the waist band of his jeans. His tongue flicked slowly out to wet his lips as he watched Dean’s eyes flutter and goose bumps race up his arms. 

“Why would I be upset that you care about us all? I already knew that. It’s nice to hear, but I’d have preferred different circumstances,” Dean’s thumb moved to glide along Cass’ slick lips, his eyes tracing them.

“Agreed, but what’s done is done. I can’t take it back, and I wouldn’t. Am I still forgiven…and welcome?” Castiel murmured even as Dean’s thumb teased along his lips. 

“Always forgiven and always welcome…Just stop doing stupid things that put you in harm’s way,” Dean growled out, his eyelids drooping.

“Same to you, _buddy_ ” Castiel growled out with equal fervor. 

“Okay,” Dean breathed out before crushing their lips together. Castiel quickly fell into Dean’s line of thinking, sliding his tongue into his hot, waiting mouth. Their tongues slid together in a remembered dance like no time had passed at all as Cass’ hands slid under Dean’s shirts. The rough canvas of them was a distinct contrast to the soft skin Castiel pressed his strong fingers into as he slid his hands up Dean’s back. Dean arched his back like his touch burned him and he panted into his mouth. “Oh, shit. I missed you so much.”

“Me, or what I do to you?” Castiel murmured as he slid his mouth to Dean’ jaw.

“Both, always both,” Dean gasped as he leaned his head back to expose his throat to his Angel. Castiel’s full lips danced across it as his hands kneaded into the small of his back. 

“Do you know how fearful I was that Ishim would kill you to hurt me while I laid there helpless to save you? He saw through us. Metatron did as well. They know you’re my weakness. Don’t you worry that others will figure it out too?” Castiel’s words whispered along his skin, ending in a hot kiss at his pulse point. 

“Cain knew, that you’re my weakness too…” Dean mumbled as he gave himself up to Cass’ touch, his hands working under his Angel’s beloved, much insulted, trench coat. Castiel pulled back, staring confusedly into Dean’s eyes. “He called you my pet Angel….and he compared me killing you to him killing his wife…I’ve been a fool for you for a long time, Cass.” Castiel’s eyes tightened and a knot of anticipation formed in Dean’s stomach. He knew that look. He kissed Cass softly on the lips, an almost chaste kiss with a question. 

“Bedroom?” Dean asked quietly as his hands massaged Cass’ lower back.

“Bedroom,” Castiel said with conviction as he turned, his hand finding Dean’s wrist and tugging him along behind him. Dean’s mind fought between arousal and amusement at his eagerness. Arousal won out as Cass stormed into Dean’s room and shut the door with unexpected gentleness, the lock clicking into place with quiet promise. Dean didn’t realize how much he associated the sound of locking doors with what he and Castiel had been doing until he felt himself grow harder just at the sound of that small click. A Pavlovian reflex he believed they called it. At least he wasn’t drooling….well, not yet anyway. Dean looked Cass up and down and swallowed hard at the heated look he gave him. As Castiel shrugged smoothly out of his trench coat, Dean began undressing himself. He slid his arms out of his over shirt and made quick work of the undershirt by the time Cass was undoing his buttons on his dress shirt and yanking his tie over his head. 

Before Dean could begin work on his pants, Castiel filled the space between them and yanked him to his front, both of them sighing audibly as their chests pressed together. “It’s been too long…” Cass growled out. 

“I kept hoping you’d storm in here the night we got back…The door was unlocked.” Dean whispered out as his fingers danced down Cass’ spine. Castiel’s were just as busy tracing the angles of Dean’s shoulder blades. 

Castiel looked at the floor a moment, remembering that frustrating night. “I was too afraid you’d turn me away with how angry you were. I stood outside your door several times while you slept…I almost did come in…but Mary kept walking the halls.” 

“My bed was too cold without you. Next time come in,” Dean said in a whisper, his mouth moving along Castiel’s shoulder now. At his words, Cass moved his hands to roughly unbutton Dean’s pants, palming the hard length contained within with a knowing smile before letting the pants fall past his hips. Dean stepped out of them, now clad only in his black boxers and he went to work on Cass’ pants. His hands trembled with nervousness after six weeks apart.

“I did come in, when you were imprisoned. I sat on your bed and remembered, and regretted, and missed you. I didn’t even know Angels could cry…I was here...” Castiel gestured toward the bed behind them, “when I missed your first two calls. I begrudgingly left here to answer the phone.”

Dean got Castiel’s pants unbuttoned and they slid off of him as he nuzzled into his neck. “Well, I’m damn glad you did…and I missed you too. Remembering you, your touch, remembering there was someone who cared about me outside of those concrete walls; it kept me going as long as I did…” Dean’s fingertips danced along the line of Castiel’s boxers as he teased at the soft skin. 

“But I wasn’t enough…” Cass groaned out as Dean’s hands slid beneath his blue boxers and cupped his ass.

“That’s not true, Angel. You know…better than anyone, isolation is the worst thing in the world for me. Purgatory…”

“You befriended a vampire because you were alone,” Cass hissed out as Dean dug his nails into the soft, giving flesh of his ass. Castiel pressed his palm to the thin fabric covering Dean’s erect cock, making him growl through his teeth.

“Because I couldn’t find you. I always need you. I don’t do so good when you’re not around. I’m sorry okay? I didn’t _want_ to die, to leave you. I just got lost…I couldn’t see another way. ” Dean nuzzled into Cass’ neck, drowning himself in the now achingly familiar scent of his Angel. 

“It’s okay, Dean. I forgive you. I understand…” Cass said as Dean nipped at his throat, trailing opened mouthed kisses along it. 

“Thank you….now,” Dean turned in his arms and pressed his back to Castiel’s front, grinding his hips back onto him. “Can we talk more later? I promise we will…Anything…Just, please…” Dean almost whined against him, desperation overriding his pride now.

Castiel groaned softly into Dean’s ear, his teeth worrying at the lobe and his tongue darting out to lick the edge of it. “Please, what, Dean?”

Dean huffed, annoyed, as he put his hand behind him to cup Cass’ face. “You’re going to make me beg?”

“Maybe,” Castiel grinned against Dean’s back, sucking a hickey into the smooth expanse of skin at his shoulder blade. 

“You’ve gotten sassy since I’ve been gone,” Dean said in a joking air of exasperation. 

“That’s what happens when you leave me in isolation for six weeks too…I lose all my manners and people skills…” Castiel growled out as he grinded against Dean’s ass. 

“Cass, please, I need you…” Dean whispered softly. Castiel moaned out behind him, as desperate and wrecked sounding as himself. Cass grabbed Dean by the shoulders and pushed him onto the bed on all fours, yanking his boxers down and off in one swift motion. Dean shuddered in pleasant anticipation as he felt Cass move behind him, assuming he was removing his last bit of clothing as well. They so rarely did things this way, preferring to be face to face as they shared their secret affections in the dark. Only occasionally, usually when Dean had been insufferably obnoxious or they were in a hurry, would Castiel bend him over the nearest surface, but he reveled in it. Cass reached over him, his body language dominating him after Dean had been so obnoxiously dominant at the diner, and got the lube out of Dean’s drawer, nested under his copies of Busty Asian Beauties. Castiel rolled his eyes. 

“I really should insist you remove those…” Cass growled out as he gripped Dean around his stomach with one hand and slid one slick finger into his tight hole. Dean groaned, his head hanging down between his arms. 

“Oh, they’re no threat to you, Angel, and they ensure Sam won’t dig in that drawer…” Dean let out a strangled laugh as Castiel pumped his finger in and out until he felt a bit of stretch and slid a second in beside it. Then Dean’s laugh turned into a damning moan as he felt Cass flick his fingertips along his prostate. 

“Dean, quiet. Your’ brother…” Castiel growled out softly as he worked his fingers in and out, not lingering on Dean’s prostate because those orgasms got quite intense and loud. He slid a third finger in and Dean buried his face in the pillow and fisted his hands in the sheets as he worked himself back on Cass’ fingers. 

“Oh fuck, Cass. Yes, needed you so bad,” Dean gasped out as he worked him open. Castiel’s eyes, hidden from Dean, were lust blown and hazy as he stared down at the human he loved, the human every supernatural creature he came across seemed to realize he loved without so much as an affectionate touch between them. He really must work on his subtlety. 

“Missed you, Dean…” Castiel gasped out as he fought not to impale his lover. He quickly slicked lube up his achingly hard dick and slowly slid into Dean’s waiting body. They both moaned in sync with one another as Dean backed into him, slowly taking him in. As soon as Castiel was nestled fully into Dean, his heat making the Angel’s eyes flutter under his dark lashes, he ran his strong hands up the muscled back of his writhing lover. For a time there were no words as they rutted, both more animal than people in this moment together. The thought briefly fluttered across Cass’ mind of Ishim calling humans simians, no better than animals. Well, Cass was no better either, and he would choose these “animals” over the monster that Ishim had proven to be. He would revel in everything that came with choosing life with his humans. He would choose pleasure and Hedonism. He would choose to bury himself in the sin of loving a human, his human; Cosmic consequences be damned. Those thoughts drove Cass harder into the willing body before him. He put a hand on the back of Dean’s neck, gripping firmly as a handhold as he pumped harder, Dean’s gasps and moans muffled by his pillow.

Dean was so far gone he could barely remember his own name. Cass’ putting his hand on the back of his neck just made the orgasm dancing at the edges of his mind leap closer. That dominant gesture drew out a lewd groan from him as he worked to keep up with Castiel’s punishing pace, his hips slamming into Dean's ass a quiet, sinful beat in his ears. 

“Fuck, Dean, I’m close. My grace is still low…” Castiel panted out, his other hand reaching down to pump Dean’s hard, seeping dick. 

“Won’t take me long, Cass. I’m almost there,” Dean whimpered out as he lifted his head from the pillow. 

“I will not until you do, Dean,” Castiel whispered against his skin. His voice, even without his grace, sent an uncontrollable shudder through him. Dean lifted his head, gasping for release as he teetered on the brink. “I love you, Dean,” Castiel whispered out as he stroked Dean to completion only moments before he spilled himself into his core. Dean's release streaked beneath him and he saw stars behind his fluttering lids as he clenched around Cass. 

Dean collapsed beneath him, shuddering through the aftershocks of his orgasm, and he mumbled, “I gave you my trust…long ago…and my body now…Just as you said your friend’s vessel did...I love you too, more than I ever thought I could.” Castiel collapsed beside him, pulling him to his side. Dean curled into his chest, his sweat dampened hair spiking all over his head as he laid a kiss over the still fluttering heart beneath him. “I love you, Cass…It scares the hell out of me and it gives our enemies a weakness, but I can’t _not_ love you. Hell, I tried.”

Castiel sighed contentedly as he laid a kiss to his forehead, feeling the adrenaline slowly leave his body, his split lip and bruised eye beginning to throb as a reminder that he was still weakened from his fight with Ishim. It felt a lifetime ago already. “I told Ishim my friendships with you and Sam made me stronger. He said I didn’t really believe that…and in a way he was right. You make me weak. My love for you, for you both, makes me make half-cocked, knee jerk choices, as you so eloquently put it…but your friendship and love, they’ve also made me stronger. I could so easily have been like Ishim was. You saved me from myself. You and Sam. I believe I’m more human now than Angel, in my thinking at least….and for once, I believe I am content with that.”

“Do you still want to talk about, you know…what we’re doing?” Dean said hesitantly, not wanting to break the warmth of their reunion.

Castiel sighed softly, letting Dean hear he was truly considering his question. “As much as I would take delight in being open with…this...Until we know what is to come with the Nephilim, I am…afraid. Not of what others would think, though you should know this act alone, not just the making of a Nephilim, is decidedly frowned upon. Other Angels are as much as danger to you as to me if we make this known. I will not take unnecessary risks with you…”

“But it’s not because you’re ashamed…” Dean whispered, almost burying his face against Castiel, embarrassed at the insecurity seeping out. 

Cass stiffened beside him and turned to meet his eyes. “I have never been ashamed of our friendship or what we do now. The secrecy was began on your request, and I understood it. I only ask to continue it now to keep you safe…It’s only for now. I am not ashamed.” At that, all effort to speak left them and they melded into one another, knowing Cass would have to leave soon to keep the pretense in front of Sam. They would give themselves this time before the charade began anew.


End file.
